And the reality....

,

I release the guilt because you didn't have the problem.  I did.  I had the problem.

I'm glad one of your friends told me.
May the Lord Bless her Heart and her courage...

I accept responsibility for myself forever more...

And just for clarities sake, the Maori symbol still exists.  I'm declaring that I was responsible for my own actions and given as little information as I was, I was a complete fool all by myself.  I release the guilt because had I known more And had we discussed my problem, its possible we both would have acted differently.

How does Guilt affect us?: Letting Guilt Go....

Read the following post by an Englishman I admire and consider the possibilities...

---------
The Law Of Forgiveness

By Mohammed
July 29, 2010  

In the 11 Forgotten Laws Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey discuss the eighth Law of the Universe, the Law of Forgiveness. 

Of all the emotions, guilt and resentment are the most damaging to us. In a recent study, the levels of acidity in human sweat were measured from people whilst they were feeling different emotions. The samples taken whilst the subject was feeling guilty were the most acidic, followed closely by resentment. 

Buddha gives a very good definition of anger. He says that when you are angry, it is as if you a holding a burning coal. Your anger is affecting only you and until you release it, you will continue to do so. 

Jesus was once asked by his disciple, Peter, how many times you should forgive someone. In Jewish scriptures, it was said that you should forgive them three times, so Peter, knowing how much Jesus valued forgiveness, asked if it was enough to forgive seven times. Jesus said that seven times was not enough and emphasised that you would need to forgive 70 x 7 times! All religions teach of forgiveness and Jesus’ answer show just how much forgiveness we must show to the world. 

When Cynthia Kersey first met Bob Proctor, she had a lot of anger in her life. She asked Bob how she could better channel this anger. Bob advised her to do something more than her anger by finding something she was passionate about. Within the next few days, Cynthia met the founder of Habitat for Humanity and was inspired by her story. She committed to doing something that would be greater than her anger and she decided that she wanted to help build 100 homes in Nepal. Cynthia managed to achieve this goal and, in doing so, successfully released the anger within her and replaced it with purpose and forgiveness. 

Take some time today to apply the Law of Forgiveness. What guilt and resentment are you holding that is literally burning away your spirit? Try to show the level of forgiveness that Jesus advised us to show and see if these destructive emotions are reduced in your life.
------------------

So, I'm letting the guilt go. I tried to love a man who lived in the shadows of his own life. I catered to every insecurity and need to observe from far away. And I'm done doing that. 

If ANY man deserves to walk down main street in the Light; be Happy and feel Secure being approached by everyday citizens - just for the sheer joy of laughing and getting to know others and becoming known - it's you.

No hats needed. No bike for anonymity. No holds Bar. Just a peeling away of All the layers of security that have wrapped you up in a torturous existence of a guilded cage. You deserve to just be a Being of Light, living within the freedom of that Light.

You deserve this to the highest possible degree.  So I do too... 

As Lord Buddha raced into the burning building to get out the children, I too raced into the burning building. I tried to pull you out and I've felt guilty ever since for being unsuccessful. You only became more mired: leaving behind your clothes with holes for $5,000 suits and shoes. Leaving behind the comfort of sitting on the side of the sidewalk, in the light, with a milkshake to rarely be seen at all. I've rarely felt like such a failure before. And I wallowed too. But now I'm letting that guilt go too... 

And of course in the past, I wasn't successful in my own life. Yet all that's changing. I now have one of the best movie scripts out there - original and refreshing. I have new opportunities to take new paths. I have family and friends. Life is going in the right direction and by the will of H'Allah, it will continue to do so.
 
Maybe, one day, the ocean will crack and boil - it's possible but not preferable. It's preferable that mankind gather it's geologist, "Titan A.E." animators who studied the Teutonic plates and plastic surgeons skilled in cellulite removal/infusion and figure out how to refill the oil cavities where we have pumped out Billions of tons of oil, then figure out in what order to re-fill them, and with what material. The real question is, "Is it possible to make crude oil renewable?" I think so. Mother Earth did it without high tech just fine, so Anything is possible. 

Maybe, everything will be normal and life will go on and on for several 1,000 upon 1,000 of years. 

And maybe only one or two of the above and maybe none of the above... 

It's all about choices. Making them from the Heart and Soul - not calculating. Living our own lives in the Light, not in the shadows. Reaching out to others. Luving others. 

Letting be and letting go is what needs to be done with the negative as Thay says "composting." Not a shorning and ripping and throwing away, but a decompositon of sorts to create renewal. 

Embracing and accepting is what needs to be done with the positive, living in the Light...

Hmmm....Career vs. Script....hmmm indeed!

So, I would like a career that lets me write, go to school and live my life, pay child support and do all the things I enjoy doing because I enjoy doing a lot of things.

Recently and several times, I was offered a portion of a restaurant - simply the option to operate the business side and stay out of the kitchen.  I like the idea but my only education in this area is in marketing and very basic daily cash drawer keeping so I am a little wary of it.

However, I've decided to ask my former Business teacher if he would watch over my shoulder and provide advice.  And instead of buying part of the business, I think simply buying the option/right to operate for a 6 month period is good to start.  It would give the original owner a lot of leeway to end it and protection from legalities if things don't go well in both of our opinions.  As well as limit my assets and legal liabilities.

It would also allow me to continue to work on my College Incompletes, and my next movie script - an adaptation.

The next movie script is going to be Very interesting.  Like most Sci-Fi scriptwriters, I'm going to stay pretty close to the material.  The main reason is obvious, after several decades have gone by, any following/audience now has a clear picture in their mind and will most often only accept a replica.  This was found to be very true with "Dune" and
"Star Wars." However, there was a wonderful pre-quell story that I just can't get out of my mind and I might include bits and pieces to simply jazz the main storyline up - It's exciting!

One "How to....do adapting" book that I started reading was written by a guy at ABC, he also worked on the Perry Mason series.  Unfortunately, it gets very tecknical, however, it IS very interesting.  Thus, I decided to stop and use it as guidance for when I get stuck.  I seem to have an innate tallent in this area, and even though I am new to the concept of adapting a script from a book, I have done reverse engineering for many decades. 

I guess my main concern is that if I follow the "rules" too much, I won't have anything "new" to offer.  It's sort of the same concept as actors have when considering a new version of an old movie.  Do you go rent Every movie ever based on Hamlet?  Or do you simply throw all that out and try novel approaches and surprise the audience?  I like surprises, so I like this more open approach the most.

I look forward to my second adaptation the most because it will involve a lesser known docu-fiction (my favorite genre).  It's a ficticious historical that takes place 10 years after WWII and takes place in France.

So, I've also decided to learn French.  We will simply see how it goes...

Are there Leading Scriptwriters?

Everyone always expects for the Leading Man to have a Leading Lady, no one considers that he might have a Leading Scriptwriter?  Why is this? 

Seriously...

Someone can dream up and write the most beautiful piece of music for a soundtrack.  A composition that actually says, "I Love You" in it's melody.  And yet everyone assumes that it's for the Leading Lady and not the Leading Scriptwriter.  I think people need to rethink this concept.

I know I am.  I am the Leading Lady in my own life, but in the Film Industry, not a chance.  I'd rather be the Leading Scriptwriter ANY day of the week.  I'd rather treasure the beautiful legacy that the Bard left behind.  I'd rather treasure the honorable traditions of Chinese, Japanese and Yiddish stage Theatre.   

I am a Historian.  I am a Writer.  I am a Woman.  I am a Military Brat.  I am a Jew.  I am a Sufi.  I am a Christian. I am a Belgian.  I am a Texan.  I am a Brit.  I am an American.  I am a Lover of Life.  I am a Lover of Heaven.  I am a Sci-Fi Lover.  I am a student.  I am a Scholar.  I am a Saint.  I am a FOOL.  I am a Drama Queen. I am a Queen in my Domain.  I am someone who screws up and someone who heals up.  I am a thousand different things and a multi-facet of those same thousand things.  I am a Renaissance Woman.

Why would I, with all my talent, want to be a Leading Lady, when I could enjoy writing the stories we LUV to hear and see?  When I've got such a wealth of getting things wrong and how to fix it, that I can put my knowledge to good use?  To ask the audience to reconsider their perceptions and their views of life and living?

And yet, when I walk away from work, I am the Leading Lady in my life and embrace all that comes my way.

Take your time in life and find what you are good at and then spend the rest of your life becoming it by exploring it...

Prince of Persia: Great Movie, but the Sufi's got Smeared

ersia

Prince of Persia was a fun video-based movie. A little too much CGI in a few places and not enough kissing in others. Lol! But the concepts flowed. If anything, the vagueness of the "Gods" was just weird and the prince’s reference to the One Creator not strong enough. So, obviously some scriptwriter just plain chickened out BIG TIME.

Like I always tell people, "Be very, VERY good or be very, VERY bad." Don't sit in the middle; it's a pretty ugly place to be.

Future scriptwriters, when writing about the Persian Empire, remember to put in that they were Muslim and it was a common practice to take orphans, especially Christian orphans, into the palace. Christians are viewed as dependable and worthy of equality in the Qur’an. (Infidels are people that don't believe in Judgment Day; and thus live their lives without consequences) That's why the bad guy, a Muslim, is justly and rightly killed by the Christian orphan. That's right, the Christian saves the day! Whoo Hoo!

It's interesting and beautiful when you watch a movie like "The Kingdom of Heaven" which didn't sugar coat anything. I think people appreciated it more and the Box Office Tickets showed it. However, despite the sugar coating in the "Prince of Persia", it was still very good and the gray, "Chicken Out" area was only two lines in the whole movie.

Unfortunately, their use of Sufi meditation was just vulgar and sadly misinformed to the point of being incredibly stupid. The spin is a re-enactment of the earth's lopsided spin and a form of prayer. It is not about visions and certainly Not about fortune-telling.

I guess the only consolation is that they used a dancer for the Sufi. The man was both upright and "spotting" which means that he was keeping track of one point in front of him to keep from getting dizzy. This means the whole scene was fake from the inside out.

I am grateful for such kindness. If they had used a real Sufi, I would have completely lost my joy of watching the movie. But misrepresentation happens all the time in Hollywood. AS LONG AS NO ONE THINKS ITS REAL, then everything will be fine.

Fortunately, Fasting and sleep deprivation is the only form of vision questing known to man and it is done in every religion: Buddhism, Christianity, Shintoism, most native people etc...meaning ANYONE can do it.

So, in the future, do your homework both historically and religiously and next time you'll get A's from everyone! Certainly, the Ostrich races were a Hoot!!! I Loved the end and thought it was quite inventive, thus making the Film completely enjoyable - the whole point! Thank you Walt Disney for a fun-filled effort!