Of course I did.
The most important part of this movie was the ability of the director, producers and Troupe to showcase just how disconnected many American women today are. I applaud them for their efforts. Finally someone even tried. And, in a way, it was a "how to reconnect" manual - with the book going into further detail. However, they failed to accurately discuss what is happening in the heads of American men? Perhaps the scope might have been too big, or perhaps a few deeper 15 minutes scenes might have clarified this issue. However, it is critical for the survival of the American Society that this begins being discussed.
Can I give a better example of a 15 minute scene that would have helped?
Yes, I will. If in one of the flash backs David revealed how he developed feelings for Liz. If he clearly identified that he had worked with her for an entire decade - and then magically developed "feelings." If he clearly identified the moment he saw her standing on the side of the road and how beautiful she. If he spent a few minutes trying to convince her to start dating him. If she clearly identified what happen in her last marriage and this made him protective of her and want to be with her more. If she, then explained that she needed time to heal. Then, David, in a last ditch effort, could asked if they could just get together and have sex from now on. (However, I do give the director kudos for trying to do this - it just wasn't strong enough and had no support).
????
Someone tell me they understand the problem here: American Men are driven by Objectification. They want a pretty picture. They persist in obtaining that picture. They do not really listen to what a woman is saying when they are in that acquisition mode - it is a point that is important. Something the Stephen character exemplified if anyone really looked at all the pictures in the house. Then, if it looks like they won't get the picture, they try to just have sex.
This is clearly created in the relationship between Liz and David, but not accurately explored.
Why is this a persistent problem in America? And mainly in America??? Why is it more prevalent in cities and less prevalent - yet still there in rural communities? Truly the problem is here people.
And, as I discussed it with a transgender friend this morning, I started off by saying it was an attempt at recreation of the European culture here in the 80's. I used the "Sweet Heart of the Mountains" Contest as an example. In the beginning of the last Century, the girls were all farm girls, ranchers and mountain girls. Then, by the 50's you see the pin-up look. Then by the 80's there was MTV and all kinds of European influences. The easiest difference to spot in the pictures was something so simple it was mind-blowing: a Tiara. Then came make-up and finally the hair - mostly Euro hair-styles. From that point on, American men and women began to disconnect. My friend suggested that by making it all about a picture and sex, that it gave people licence to not really try to connect at the Heart level. I agree whole-heartily.
Europeans have what they have because the Family structure is 5+ generations deep. Americans really haven't had that to the same extent. 400 years ago was a struggle. Often men came first, women came last. Or women would adventure out on their own, and find men without family structures at all later. Strangely, the states that had strong family ties in the beginning 400 years ago are still the ones with the strongest marriages and connections.
And strangely the invention of films and TV, helped Americans create stronger family ties by showing modern family struggles: "Leave it to Beaver" "Andy Griffith" "Happy Days" "Brady Bunch" and "The Waltons." Where they accurate depictions? No, not really, but they were American families, their problems exacerbated and solved American style - from the hip...rather than European families. My mother's family was British so I saw many of their TV programs and the families, problems and solutions were remarkably different.
However, by the 80's everything on TV became too extreme (soap operas), or just a showcase of disconnection and negativity. By the 90's, it wasn't much better. Very few programs existed to be positive, however they were some "7th Heaven." By the 2000's, was the solidification of Reality TV and anything positive fell right off the chart!
However, the real concern here isn't that women are disconnected, it's that men don't know how to connect and can't seem to realize that the woman they are with is disconnect.
When I was disconnect, I used to sing from my Heart and Soul. But that does not mean that I knew what I was singing, much less why. In fact, I could not reproduce many of the tunes if I tried. And I certainly would not have recognized them if a friend played them back using instruments.
And this is the journey that Liz undertakes. She doesn't know what's wrong, much less articulate it. She can only start with the basics: food, balance - learning how the rest of the world does it and ancient wisdom. Wisdom that didn't continue through the first immigrants because their children tried to shed the "Old Country" traditions.
Liz had to learn to reconnect to herself first, her life and then the world outside of herself. Then at last, she could reconnect to another person on an intimate level. That anyone could do it in a year is AMAZING. But I'm going to have Faith that it is possible. I only just completed the journey myself after 3 years.
Can women make that journey within the confines of their relationships? With the present state of American men - I sincerely doubt it. Can they make it within the confines of their family structures?? Maybe. It depends if the family structure is populated by people who formed their relationships prior to the 80's. Otherwise, a woman is better off going to her Grandparents to figure it out.
The goal of a relationship isn't to have sex. I'm sorry, it just isn't. The goal is to connect at the Heart level and share each other's souls and journeys. Children are an actualization of that Love mirroring at a deep level. If you do it right, then love making happens at a spiritual level - something far beyond what American's have today. If you do it right, then love-making can happen at the family level too.
This is the key to America's Future...
